


Peanut Butter

by SunnyInOregon



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Family, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 21:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18786859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyInOregon/pseuds/SunnyInOregon
Summary: Dave loves peanut butter.





	Peanut Butter

The hour is late and the BAU team is sitting on their plane in an airport that has been closed due to the weather. They could have deplaned and gone searching for a hotel but decided they would wait it out in the comfort of their private jet.

Penelope Garcia looked at her companions and decided to have a little late-night fun. “If you were on a deserted island and could have one food flown in to you, what would it be?”

JJ and Emily replied together, “Chocolate!”

Hotch sighed. “Ice cream.”

“Hamburgers,” Morgan answered swiftly. “I need my red meat.”

Reid frowned. “Depends on what is already on the island. I mean I don’t know what I would fix with it and…”

Emily sighed in frustration. They had been playing this game for nearly an hour and Reid had to breakdown every possibility before answering. She cut him off, “Don’t analyze it just pick one.”

“Grapes,” he replied succinctly.

JJ smiled and turned to their senior profiler. “Dave?”

Dave, who was trying to concentrate on the daily crossword puzzle answered without looking up. “Peanut Butter.”

The three women looked at each other and responded in unison. “Mmm.”

Hotch looked over at his friend. “Peanut Butter? I thought you would ask for steak or lobster; something a little more refined.”

Dave looked up at Hotch and frowned. “Peanut butter is refined.”

“Really?” Morgan laughed.

Dave smiled. “Nothing goes better with chocolate than peanut butter.”

Morgan laughed again. “But you don’t have any chocolate.”

“Not yet,” Dave said with a smile.

JJ cut in before they could continue. “Next question, if you could take one person with you to said island, who would it be? Hotch?”

“It would have to be Jack,” Hotch sighed. “I couldn’t stand to not see him grow up.”

Reid interjected with a smile. “I’d take Albert Einstein.”

“Naturally,” Morgan teased. “I’m going to have to think about this.”

“Too many choices?” Dave asked looking at the younger man. 

“What about you Dave?” Emily asked. “Who would you take?”

“My Mother,” he replied casually. The entire team looked at him questioningly. “What? I wouldn’t have to do anything if she were there.”

“Lazy,” Hotch snorted. “I’m calling your Mom.”

Morgan turned to JJ. “Who would you take?”

JJ sighed. “Like you have to ask, I’d have to take Henry. Just like Hotch I need to see my baby grow up. Emily?”

The dark-haired woman smirked. “I’d take Dave.”

“Me too,” Garcia piped in. Dave smiled at them.

“Dave?!” Morgan said indignantly.

“Why?” Hotch asked.

Emily and Garcia looked at each other before answering. “Because he has peanut butter.”

Dave’s grin widened.

JJ moaned. “I want peanut butter too!”

“Ok I don’t understand the peanut butter,” Hotch admitted.

“Me either,” Reid stated quietly.

“Have you ever seen Dave eat peanut butter?” Emily asked her voice dropped an octave.

“No,” Hotch replied. Dave squirmed in his seat.

“Dave loves peanut butter,” JJ announced drawing out the word loves into five syllables.

Garcia hugged herself and rolled her eyes a small smile on her lips. “The way he licks it off the spoon – yummy!”

Dave tried to hide behind his puzzle, but Emily reached over and pulled it out of his hands. She looked him directly in the eyes. “We know all about your hidden jar of peanut butter. We’ve seen you.”

“Makes me wish I were a spoon,” Garcia admitted softly.

“Garcia!” JJ sputtered. The techie shrugged her shoulders and grinned.

Morgan looked at Dave closely. “Dave, do you have a peanut butter fetish?”

“It’s not a fetish,” Dave admitted. “I like peanut butter.”

“Honey you make eating peanut butter HOT!” Garcia told him. 

Dave squirmed in his seat again. “I wish I had some right now.”

Two days later Dave walked into his office at the BAU sitting on his desk were three cases of peanut butter, three boxes of plastic spoons and a note. He picked up the note and read it. 

_We thought you could use a good supply of peanut butter, so you don’t run out. The spoons are in case you decide to share. Signed, your girls._


End file.
